Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
