Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
