Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
