Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I believe in your delicious
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
