Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize