I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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