She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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