What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she told me i tasted like america
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
