Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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