Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
