i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
