She said her name was "party"
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
