I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
