My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Randomize
