yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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