this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
