Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
