That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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