but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
