Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
