Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
