His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
