UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
