Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I will be naked everywhere
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
