I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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