So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
