Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
