all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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