Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
