i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
