Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
