Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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