My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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