i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize