Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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