I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
