So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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