Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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