I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
