So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
