We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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