I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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