No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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