Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize