I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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