We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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