you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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