nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize