I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
