i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
