Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
they need to just BURY HIM!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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