Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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