Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You ruined the universe
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
