You work out of a Hotel?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
