Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize