That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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