my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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