Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
